We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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