help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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