Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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