so that wasnt chicken after all
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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