he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
