I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
