i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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