so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
