I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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