Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
