Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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