hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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