D3 body, D1 cock
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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