he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
