when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
