my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How external is "for external use only"?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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