why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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