you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
