I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
