That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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