love makes seman taste better
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
