Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
