This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
