im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
