Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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