Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
