I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
