OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
