If that was your dad, he is hot
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize