allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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