i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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