Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
