Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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