Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
