Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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