I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
