Betty ford says i'm here all night
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
