That's when you crack a 10am beer
only if we run a train.
done.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
