Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
