so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize