haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I need moral support for this bender
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
