My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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