Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
