I got chris browned last night
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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