Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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