Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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