im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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