I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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