dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
