Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
