You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Did we literally take a cab across the street
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize