You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
