i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
