How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
