i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
