gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
