whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
