What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
