Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize