yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
