I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
