..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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