I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
