so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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