You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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