I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Still dying that you shit outside
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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