I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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