Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
