Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
