I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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