So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Randomize
