If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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