i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
